A Naughty Bus Conductor by Anayo Nwosu.

Discussion in 'General Forum' started by izu, Aug 24, 2016.

  1. Izu

    Izu Admin Staff Member

    The conductor of a commercial bus that plies from Onitsha to Nnewi asked a woman where she would want to be dropped in Igbo language; "ebee ka i choro ka arapu gi? Ichoro ka arapu gi n'Ojoto ka ichoro ka arapu gi n'Nnewi?" That was how a fight started.
    The woman misinterpreted the question to mean that the conductor was asking her "in which town would you want to start your madness; whether you would want to commence your madness at Ojoto or at Nnewi".
    Every other passengers understood the question to mean: " where do you want to be dropped off? Do you want to drop off at Ojoto or at Nnewi".

    When the fight ended, another passenger who works at Onitsha but could no longer afford the high cost of rent in Onitsha who was looking for a cheaper accommodation in the outskirts, asked a fellow passenger whether living in Oba or in Obosi was cheaper. He asked which of the two options was better in Igbo as; "ibi Obosi na ibi Oba kedu nke ka mma?"
    The same conductor asked the person looking for accommodation to choose "ibi Obosi" because Obosi town's nearness to his place of work in Onitsha would enable him better manage his new medical condition. And a greater fight ensued.

    The passengers believed that the conductor was asking the needy passenger to develop "an Obosi type of scrotal elephantiasis" or "ibi Obosi". Scrotal elephantiasis in Igbo language is called "ibi or "amu ibi".
    The bus was yet to reach Nnewi, its final stop when an elderly passenger picked his phone shouting at his nephew on the other side who has refused to come home from Aba to give his sister away in marriage. He said "so Chijioke iwepugo aka n'ike nwanne gi nwanyi?" He continued " i ga anata ka itenye aka n'ike ada nne gi makana iwepu aka n'ike ya onudu be nna gi kaa nka". And the whole bus went into a frenzy of laughter.

    We didn't know that the elderly man was more lethal than the conductor. To an innocent ear, he said "so Chijioke you have decided to abstain from endorsing or participating in giving away your elder sister in marriage. Your continued refusal to do same will result in your sister not getting married hence becoming an old maid right in your father's house".

    A harmless expression could be interpreted into a dangerous acid by a crafty minded person.

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